That Which Remains

In the hollow of the years, haunted by all things past, I sought out the phantoms of a yesteryear, children now older than myself, cozy home a heap of mossy ruins, the forest path we once walked so freely now a traffic clogged highway.

I mourn in the quiet that which is gone from me yet that still remains and the sobs never do escape my throat.

The winds rush overhead, the sun rises and sets, and the waves break into white foam upon the stony shore.

I know now why I was meant to have forgotten and will try now to put it away from me, living in the moment eternal and never in my losses.

My family, my life, my tramping grounds are all new now and perhaps I’d best embrace them.  Soon enough I will have to let them free and some essence will yet remain, impervious to illusory Time.


Posted in ensoulment, Family, Kids, Poetry, Relationships, Thoughts and Dreams, Time, time-travel | Tagged | Leave a comment


1. Woke from a dream where Amy and I were leaving Jeb to climb down from the seats in an arena to go get some sort of treatment for our hair and feet. I was irked because I had to get up before getting the treatment. In real life, I have full, long, and very soft hair, which I shed all over the place like a persian cat. Extremely annoying. And my feet are dry and prickly at night to the point that I sometimes just get up rather than just lay there feeling them. Go figure. Any guesses on what the dream is trying to tell me? As opposed to my frequent travel dreams, this one felt purely symbolic.

2. With all the pure evil committed in accordance with fundamentalist Islam, the only way that good people who happen to be Muslim can escape association with its evil is to leave it. Otherwise, I foresee a coming Holocaust in which billions of Muslims, innocent or otherwise, will die as horribly as their victims have done. I hope they know this and will stop before it’s too late for them.

3. My cute little bunny, Romeo, needs to learn some new communication techniques to indicate his various wants. Right now, he just suddenly stops cuddling and digs frantically at the person he’s trying to message. It can mean “Put me down quick, I need to pee!” or “How dare you play on your Gameboy when I am here?!” or “Brush me, slave!” or, “Okay, I was a good bunny for my bath now where is that lovely, Loverly, hair blower?” or “I need to run around like a crazy bun and kick my heels in the air right this instant!” or “Ooh, a cat! I want to play with the cat!”

4. Religion is a tricky thing. On the one hand, it’s no accident. New souls often choose it as a way to really capitalize on their limitations here. Kind of puts a fine edge on them. Makes them work harder. Corrupt elitist sorts use it to control the masses. It’s one of the most effective forms of mind control ever invented. It replaces independent thought with rote programming.  Old souls have little use for it because of its limitations. They’ve had enough of the limitations and are now ready to explore freedom in a physical world. And religion tries to stop them. LOL.

5. I haven’t had any flight dreams for a while now and hence, no real travel. Seriously going through withdrawals here!

6. Vulnerability (physical/emotional weakness or trauma in one’s psychological makeup) is too often attractive to the wrong people. This is why I try so hard NOT to be vulnerable. Snakes on the make like their targets vulnerable. Rapists and murderers like vulnerable victims. Slavers and psychic vampires need vulnerable people or they wouldn’t be able to function at all. MK Ultra relied on vulnerable test subjects to meet its nefarious requirements. End point: whatever awful thing you’ve been through, please suck it up and try to get stronger from it; not weaker and not touchy. Don’t be easily triggered. It alerts predators to your vulnerability. Don’t let run your life because if you do, other people will use it to run your life and they won’t have your best interests in mind.

7. A lot of people – especially religious people – don’t understand true magic. It’s no perversion of the natural world. Far from it; it’s as natural as the occurrence of water and sunlight and living things here in this abundant world. It’s the stuff miracles are made of. It’s the energies that flow between us and connect all things. When you cast a spell, you are plucking the delicate strings that flow between us and sending your vibrations along them, sure as a spider plucks its web or its prey arrives thereon. Wait a minute. Not a great image there but, the thing is, the vibrations go both ways so sending them should always be done with caution and respect. If you violate someone’s free will or sanctity, you risk your own. Either way, it’s natural. Beliefs are all that stop its free expression. A side note is that beliefs, religion a particularly ironic aspect, do not simply limit or stop magic, but they can limit and even cut off connection with our Prime Source, which is kind of a shame.

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The Darkest Side of Night

It’s night and it seems like you’ve been driving through it forever, you in your little car. Trees and mountains, twinkle-lit skyscrapers, mesas and cacti, are all mere silhouettes against the starry night as you pass among them.

Your little car suddenly coughs and then sputters. This, in a place where the darkness has grown flat and shapeless around you, apparently uninhabited open desert. It gives you a pang of fear and desolation. If your car breaks down, who knows how long you will be lost out here, utterly alone, at the mercy of elements both known and unknown? Who will be there to save you?

Your car DOES break down of course. Murphy’s Law in action. Or lack thereof as it were.

Coyotes cry. There are strange calls and growls and thumps. Mysterious wings flap by. The wind howls forlornly. Now and then, you hear the crunch of small feet or a slithering through the sand but can’t see anything. It keeps you awake and petrified.

Finally comes the first flush of false dawn and you can now see something of the landscape and the small creatures that move about in it, oblivious to your presence. You have mixed feelings about this.

It seems like forever since you’ve dawn or light has filled the space around you. You know it though and you have attendent assumptions about it as well. You could continue sitting here, but the rising light is growing in warmth and brightness as it flows into real dawn and eventually might just roast you here. Or you could take a chance while the light is still gentle and there’s still some coolness in the desert; just get out of the car and go seeking after your own rescue or sanctuary.

You’re still very afraid to move, but reluctantly decide on the later course of action since roasting is even less appealing. You get out of the car, lock it with the electronic fob as an afterthought, and begin to walk down the road through the twi-lit desert.

The light keeps coming and soon it’s a flood of light, tinging the sky first purple, red, gold, pink, and then blue, flooding out the stars, dazzling your eyes. It’s beauty is overwhelming.

The desert melts away.

Everything is light and the light is everything.

What am I describing?

Posted in death, ensoulment, Magic, Spiritual, Thoughts and Dreams, Uncategorized, Writing | 1 Comment

The 40th Century Mississippi

40th century…
Floating cities above, wilderness homes below. There’s a sea where the Mississippi used to be.  The American continent is smaller and cleaved in two with a lot of both Pacific and Atlantic coasts just missing. So is Florida. Hawaii is larger and the people there isolated from the mainland.
There is also an inland sea where the Great Lakes used to be. Not sure if it’s separate from the Mississippi or not, but there’s a lot of island scattered water there. A return, I think, as is the prevalence of plesiosaurs now apparent there. That’s what they look like anyway.
The human races appear to have homogenized and none are distinct anymore.
Religion has long since disappeared along with its authorities. The same is true for politics. Yet there are active temples representing nearly all cultural traditions and mythos are everywhere. All except for Islam. There is no sign of Islam or anything like it anywhere in the world.

Spirituality is alive and well. People connect with each other and their Source, which is no longer viewed as separate or in any way jealous or punishing.  Oh.  And the cultural traditions of Christianity as well as its core teachings (especially those) are also still alive and well.  Better than ever in fact.

 There is neither marriage nor sexual promiscuity nor gender apartheid in the cities.  The young are strongly encouraged not to even have a sexual relationship unless they are truly in love with that person.  The gender doesn’t matter.  The love does.  And maturity.
Greece is the center of the civilized world but there is another major civilization located in the far northern climes, Scandinavian area, where a large swathe of humanity survived a nuclear disaster. Something related to a war but ET intervention prevented total devastation and that area was somehow protected from deadly fallout.
Sentient machines run the city states, which appear to be perfectly socialistic. Everyone shares everything and there are very few actual laws beyond simple consideration for others. No one is homeless.  No one is hungry.  Population is tightly controlled.  Everyone patched in some way.  Permission is required for giving birth since the “old world” suffered much of its devastation from overpopulation.
There is no such thing as private property or haves and have-nots with only the exception of those refuse to live harmoniously in the cities.  The misfits make their own way down in the wilderness with no more help from the cities nor dealings of any kind with them.
Those who commit extremely violent crimes are summarily executed by the intelligent machine. No trial. No judgement. No waiting. No prison. No continued threat to others. It’s over.  This could have caused the die out of Islam, though I get the impression that it happened long before this time period right, in fact, pretty much in our time due to its extreme dysfunction in the body of humanity.
Humanity has evolved. It looks the same, albeit perfected, but the brain is far more efficient and what we call psi now is just normal there, even mundane. We have far more abilities than were previously approached. Full consciousness has exploded into the cosmos.
There are no more wars nor power-mongering elite.  Violent crimes are extremely rare and very quickly and efficiently dealt with.  Humanity is free to be the best it can be.
There was flirtation was space travel in the 21st and 22nd centuries(?) and a colony on Mars that lasted 60 years but suffered a horrific enough natural disaster to have even the human race PTSD for centuries after.
So 40th century earthlings do not travel the cosmos via some Star Trek Enterprise at all. They do so via OBE if at all. And they have colonies in orbit above the floating cities as well.
Speaking of the Mississippi… Mark Twain called it “Too thick to drink and too thin to plow.” I made the recipe equivalent of that yesterday in my smaller crock pot:
Leftover grilled fajita meat, apple-wood smoked bacon pieces, onions, a cup of barley, 3 stalks of chopped celery, a small chopped, peeped, eggplant, chopped potatoes, tiny carrots, Italian herbs, a couple cans of chopped stewed tomatoes with chilies, a can of ginger-ale….
Cooked it all day while we went to Pike Place Market and played.  Bought a special seasoning called Chorizzo Bomb there and added it to what I had in the crock pot when I got home.
The end result about two hours later was thicker than stew but a little thin to be casserole. Like the thickness of mashed potatoes but a lot tastier. What do you call that? My Mississippi perhaps? It was really good and spicy whatever else it might be. Yumness.
Note: The above descriptions of the future are not from visions of my own but rather the reports of various people who have made claims of visiting the future.  They all correspond with each other pretty well so I wrote them down as a cohesive piece.  However, I feel that time is a mutable illusion and nothing there set in stone.  Just knowing it can change it.  We should change whatever parts we don’t like.  We CAN change whatever parts we don’t like.  And we can take inspiration from those we DO like.
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Common Sense Rules For Muslim Immigrants to the US

I’m tired of hearing Trump criticized for blocking illegal immigration and trying to protect us from invaders who mean us harm. This does NOT include all Muslims. It only includes the nettlesome/dangerous ones that we cannot and should not trust.

If I had it my way, I’d be a trump too. Maybe even more so. here’s the common sense rules for Muslim immigrants & visitors I’d push:

1. Burn our flag or chant “Death to America!” and we’ll show you to the door at once and ban you from ever returning.

2. Commit violent crimes (which include domestic violence btw) and you’re out of here… but only after doing some hard labor on hard time. If it’s rape either of man, woman, boy, girl, animal, or dead body, we’ll cut your balls off too.

3. Don’t demand Sharia law here. It goes against our constitution and is innately hostile to Americans. There’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the ass as you go out.

4. Don’t harrass or threaten Americans for refusing the strictures of your Sharia or insulting Islam. No ideology is protected from criticism here. Get used to it or get out. Threats and harrassment are NOT okay.

5. Don’t take/make slaves or it’s prison time and hard labor for you.

6. Don’t demand halal foods on Welfare. If you are needy and your co-religionists want to help you get halal food, that’s up to them. The American tax payers do NOT owe it to you.  And no, we will not be banning pork for you.  We love our bacon.  It’s an American thing.

7. Expect to work for a living when you get here. If you can’t get work on your own after a year or two and job training of some kind, then you will be put to work doing whatever no one else wants to do: road work, manure shovelling, bathroom cleanings, or you can go back to where you came from.

8. Mosques will be monitored for hate speech and inspected for weapons. Those that harbor these will be burned down and the membership expelled and/or arrested.

9. Madrassas will not be allowed. They are too well known for their hate teachings and the radicalization of youth.

10.  Your faces must be uncovered in public for identity purposes unless it’s Halloween.  Bank robbers, bandits, and terrorists cover their faces.  Hiding your identity here means you’re up to no good and we should be on our guard.  When you do it, we think of you in those terms unless it’s clearly a Halloween costume and nothing more.  Your driver’s licence must show your face and you should be willing to show it to anyone who needs the reassurance even when in constume.  Don’t expect special allowance based on religion.

11. Foreign Muslim support of mosques, political entities, or institutions here will not be allowed. It’s too risky.  Just look at Obama and Hillary being funded by Saudi Arabia as they were.

12. Illegal immigration is Illegal! Geeze already! What’s so hard to understand about that? You’re vetted properly or you’re an invader. Cross the line and you will be doing time.

13. Practice your religion, but don’t impose it on others, not even your own family members.  Religion is personal to the individual only here.

14. Religion is not an excuse to oppress others, commit crimes, or be an abuser of human rights. If you think it is, then you are clearly in the wrong place.

15. Welcome to those who become peaceful and productive good citizens living in accordance with our constitution and in harmony with others. Respect is something you must earn here and what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  My freedom stops where yours begins and vis versa.


Posted in Costumes, Family, Islam, Middle East, News and politics, Relationships, religion, social pychology, Terrorism, work | 1 Comment

There Are Other Worlds Than These

A repost from long ago (probably back from my Xanga days, or even MySpace) because the words were playing so busily in my head this morning I think it must mean something….

There Are Other Worlds than These

Mountains will reach,

Eons will teach,

And worlds will come crashing down…

Our ship slips over the edge and drowns

Yet here I will stand with you

In the starry bowl of the void

Clinging every so tightly

Each a part of the other steadfastly

“There are other worlds than these,” you said

And with that the new vision cleared;

New worlds, new places,

New times, new chances,

I’m with you in them,

I will not lose my hold,

Nor will you your own,

There are always other worlds to see,

Posted in Poetry | 3 Comments

Dealing with Islamists

In view of the fact that are governing elitists seem hell bent on destroying their own nations with a flood of savage Muslim immigrants, there is talk going on among Europeans of protesting this by simply boycotting Muslim businesses. This is an understandable (albeit weak-wristed) reaction but it won’t work out well for a few reasons:

  1. Muslims have a long history of human trafficking, banditry, and piracy. It’s what they do best. So what do you think they are going to do when they can’t earn a living via lawful means?
  2. Shunning Muslim business just for being Muslim will only speed the development of new Muslim only zones. Do you want that?
  3. Also note: the Muslim refugees that are so busy raping and pillaging right now, are generally not the employed ones, business owners or otherwise. In short, you’d be punishing the wrong Muslims while the bad ones are still free to run rampant, destroying everything in their path. Punish just the bad ones. Encourage the good ones. Their individual actions clearly separate them into two distinct groups.

That last said, it is a fact that Islam encourages bad behavior and the more seriously a Muslim practices Islam, the worse a person he becomes. And you never know when one of them is going to suddenly get serious. So the simplest solution is to simply boycott Islam itself, not Muslims:

  1. Don’t buy Islam specific products like halal food, Korans, scarves, prayer rugs.
  2. Never support an Islamic charity. The funds tend to go straight into terrorism.
  3. Protest Islam being taught in public schools or catered to in other public facilities. If they want their Islam, let them keep it at home.
  4. Burn mosques and madrassas.
  5. Shower stones and refuse down on Muslims demanding sharia or other Islamic-centered monstrosities, burning flags, or shouting for the deaths of non-Muslims, Jews, Christians, apostates, gays, nations, whatever….
  6. If you’re a non-Muslim woman and a Muslim hijabi harasses you for the way you’re dressed, rip her hijab off. Bloody her nose if she goes ballistic on you.
  7. Hunt down and beat up Muslims that are attacking and harassing non-Muslims in general.
  8. If you are a non-Muslim book store owner, refuse to sell Korans or any other Islamic books but do feel free to make posters mocking/exposing the more barbaric aspects of them that a lot of idealist liberal naive types would otherwise not know about.
  9. Feel free to eat around Muslims during Ramadan.
  10. Disrupt Islamic prayer services when they take over the street. They have no business there. The streets are for driving in. Drive in them.
  11. Always discourage friends and family from dating, marrying, or going into business with Muslims.
  12. And always be as nice or not, tolerant or not, as they are to you.  You are not obliged to be better or worse.
Posted in Books, News and politics, religion, social pychology, Terrorism | Leave a comment

Don’t be Shaken

I was shaken, not stirred, at the time I surprised my whole family by suddenly joining the Army when my confidence level was probably the lowest it had ever been.  I’d been completely betrayed by my first husband and come home deprived of my  first child with my tail between my legs.

Wait.  That doesn’t sound right.  Well, you know what I mean though, right?

Anyway, I told my mom, step-father, and little brother at dinner the day I enlisted and they about dropped their forks along with their jaws.  I was, after all, a soft-spoken, 5′ short, blow away skinny, 90-pound, fragile looking, innocent who’d just been taken in and taken advantage of by the Iranian Shi-ite husband of nightmares.  My sheer naivety was on display.  They’d been regarding me as some sort of invalid at that point (or maybe I was just made invalid in the other sense of the word) and here I was abruptly ducking their cover with no warning whatsoever.  Their protests were quick coming: 

“You don’t know what you’re doing!”

“They’ll chew you up and spit you out!”

“Don’t do this.  You know you won’t survive.  Don’t be ridiculous!”

“You’re not strong enough!”

“They’ll laugh when they see you coming!”

They couldn’t stop me though.  I went.  For various reasons, I felt I had to.

Our battalion was the first female one on Tank Hill at Fort Jackson, SC and the drill sergeants were pretty uneasy with the concept.  They ran us through the ringer of course and sometimes found us confounding.

They tried to teach us the only cadences they knew; mostly very sexist ones.  For instance:

“The prettiest girl
I ever saw
was sippin bourbon
through a straw
The prettiest girl
I ever saw
was sippin bourbon
through a straw

I walked right up
I sat right down
I ordered us
another round
I walked right up
I sat right down
I ordered us
another round

I picked her up
I laid her down
her long blond hair
lay all around
I picked her up
I laid her down
her long blond hair
lay all around…” and then it goes on rather pornographically.

We refused to sound off when the cadences went in this direction and were often yelled at for it.  Once, they even left us out in the pouring rain with our rifles after target practice, not willing to accept them back into the armory until we’d sing them this cadence.  Eventually, we gave in without actually giving in.  Our favorite cadence caller, a woman who could have doubled for Grace Jones and every bit as fierce, led us in the following:

“The cutest guy I ever saw, was drinking bourbon through a straw. I laid my hand upon his knee.  He said, ‘Trainee, you’re teasing me.’  I laid my hand upon his thigh, He said, ‘Trainee, you’re much too high…'”

All the drills and Top came surging out of Top’s office where they’d been drinking coffee and joking around all cozy like.  Consider that one of their number had recently gotten the boot after coming on to one of the female trainees and all of them were nervous about it, we’d definitely gotten their attention.  Our drills seemed flummoxed between wanting to yell at us again or laughing.  They did neither except for the solitary female drill (a frightful lady of ferocious temper) who seemed to be struggling to keep a straight face on.  Top, however, just told us we could turn our rifles in and be dismissed for the night.

Male and female trainee battalions were not allowed to talk to or even look at each other but somehow managed to shout flirtatious cadences when marching past one another just because….  and did quite a lot of note passing and push ups in that relation too.   I, of course, maintain my innocence in this matter, but the drills found it exasperating as they did nearly everything to do with female trainees.

 A little thing:  We could refuse to cut our hair like the guys did so long as we kept it pinned up under our caps when wearing BDUs or dress greens.  That’s what I did and the drills hated it.  

In PT uniform only could we at least go without caps, but the hair still had to be pinned up and mine, being waist long and very silk at the time, was a bit challenging without the cap on.  The pins kept slipping out and I wasn’t that good at pinning it up in the first place since this was the first time in my life I ever had to do it so well.  Under the hijab previously didn’t count because then, at least, I could always just wear a ponytail. 

So one evening, as I was finishing the evening run, all my bobbypins decided to pop out at once.  It was a conspiracy of pins I tell you and my long blond hair went flying free like a flag unfurled… right in front of my drill sergeant.  Oops.  So he called me in to yell at me about it then grabbed a handful of my hair and flashed a huge pair scissors in my face saying, “Keep it pinned up or I’ll cut it for you myself!”

The fact that I knew he didn’t have the right kept me calm in the face in the face of his threatening BS and I told him, “Go ahead and do it, Drill Sergeant, and I’ll say you touched me.”

He dropped the scissors and my hair at once and raised his hands.  “Okay, okay!  You win! But please…. Please just quit.  Drop out.  You can go back to wherever it is you came from.”  And there were actual tears at the corner of his eyes. 

I told him “no” and kept meeting every requirement, still looking like a 90-pound weakling, but a determined one.  I couldn’t imagine why he wanted me to drop out, but it made me all the more determined not to, even if it was just to spite him.

In Advanced Individual Training (AIT), there were new challenges to be met.  Among them was the Army Smart Book we’d given at the beginning of Basic Training, which included everything we’d learned in Basic and some extra things besides.  We were expected to have memorized enough of it by now to be able to answer all sorts of random questions about things in the book, from identifying craft belonging to friends and foes to how to treat an abdominal wound on the battle field to the ranges of various weapons, etc.  We had to answer a question of our drill’s choosing before we could take weekend liberty.  Otherwise, we’d have to stay in the barracks and clean or something.

The drill always had a wicked stern expression on her face when she asked her question and then followed our answers with the question, “Are you sure?”

I always answered that honestly.  Either I was certain of my answer and said so or I’d just admit I wasn’t sure.  I missed some liberties with uncertainties but never backed down when I was certain and then, at least, I wouldn’t miss out.  I understood her point though.  She wanted us to be as confident in our answers as in ourselves.  We had to trust our own knowledge when we knew something and admit it when we didn’t.

It seemed like such a little petty thing at the time but now, years later, in the messed up world of modern PeeCeeism run amok, it means a lot more.

Establishment types have a way of making you question yourself, make you doubt what you see, hear, read, feel, know, or believe.  You’re supposed to get with the party line.  You are not supposed to call a spade a spade nor in any way comment on or notice things you’re not supposed to.  They’ll call your credibility into question.  They’ll call you racist even when it has nothing to do with race.  They’ll call you crazy or degenerate if you disagree with the viewpoint they’re trying to cram down your throat.  Their arguments , weak as they are, don’t even have to make sense.  They’ll call you an intolerant bigot if you won’t back down on what you know to the core of your being is right.

Don’t back down.

PeeCeeism has replaced religion in the west as their best weapon against nonconformity, free speech, and free thought for at least 30 years now and now we have to shake ourselves away from it or there will very soon be no freedom left for any of us.

That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.  I will not be made to doubt myself and I will not stand silent when I things going very very wrong.  How about you?

Posted in News and politics, Relationships, religion, social pychology, Women's Issues | 2 Comments