That Which Remains

In the hollow of the years, haunted by all things past, I sought out the phantoms of a yesteryear, children now older than myself, cozy home a heap of mossy ruins, the forest path we once walked so freely now a traffic clogged highway.

I mourn in the quiet that which is gone from me yet that still remains and the sobs never do escape my throat.

The winds rush overhead, the sun rises and sets, and the waves break into white foam upon the stony shore.

I know now why I was meant to have forgotten and will try now to put it away from me, living in the moment eternal and never in my losses.

My family, my life, my tramping grounds are all new now and perhaps I’d best embrace them.  Soon enough I will have to let them free and some essence will yet remain, impervious to illusory Time.


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Hurt People Hurt People…

…And forgiveness or fortitude can break the cycle. Maybe just love without conditions. That’s the biggest message coming through the latest two television series’ we’ve been marathoning through: Supernatural and Once Upon A Time.

The former was the pick of my daughter and husband and I refused to watch the first few seasons with them due to the excessive violence, the extremely religious mythology silliness, and the intellectual deficit.  However, those boys are HOT and often downright funny and cute and loving and I eventually found myself sneaking peaks over the top of my computer on the kitchen bar overlooking the living room. Then I started lingering over the couch to get a better view, the silly stories started sucking me in, and soon I was sitting down between Jeb and Amy watching with them.

Okay, how to explain this. I know there are ghosts and angels and magic. My concept of God is that its the intelligent Source energy of which we are all apart. We are subdivisions or fractals of That experiencing Itself and magic is the pure interconnecting energies being deliberately employed by those aspects still conscious of that primal connection. The unconscious aspects also do so, but they either call it supernatural or “a miracle!” It’s all natural as far as I’m concerned though.

In Supernatural, the God of the Bible is the writer of Supernatural come down to Earth to experience his Creation directly, rather than as an aspect (maybe like Jesus did only more “hands off,” and Lucifer and all the other angels, are just his children. And then there are a lot of monsters running around a muck on Earth: vampires, were wolfs, immortal evil witches, demons, heart eaters, soul suckers, ghosts, locusts in human form, and all other kinds of beasties that go bump in the night.

Not a great explanation I know, but Sam and Dean hunt down and destroy these beasties and often torture them before destroying them as the beasties often torture them in turn. In fact, there is so much of this going on for so long that it gets hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys and Dean himself becomes a demon at one point because he starts enjoying torturing and killing a bit too much. He starts killing innocents, but his brother still loves him and wrests him back from this totally dark place.

The boys come out of a place of hurt and terror and pain in their lives and are fighting against that with a literal vengeance. It is noteworthy here that the anger and vengeance produce the worst in them and the love and forgiveness of even the unforgivable inevitably make things better, humanizing even the most evil characters, making even them lovable and forgivable.

Yes, you can love the villain and thwart them at the same time.

Same goes for Once Upon a Time. The villains were made. Hurt people hurt people. Anger and vengeance were choices they made in their weakness when overcome with emotions they were too immature to deal with wisely.  Thus the spiral into villainy. Some love, understanding, and forgiveness without conditions coaxes them back into the light.

I think that’s nice. Can it happen in real life? I kind of feel it can. Inadvertent or deliberate, I think that’s the meta message these shows carry to the masses. But are they paying attention?


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There was a shadow, blotting out the sun, a flash of light, a rumble… I’m blind in a place of white light, trembles going all through me and around. I feel the vibration of my every molecule. I’m broken into elemental bits, spread over the whole of whatever this reality is.

The sky is afire. Volcanoes erupt. The earth is giving birth, her heaving body ringing like a smoky crystal bell.

In the distance is a high-pitched whine and BOOOOOOMMMM that goes on into infinity. A howling whirlwind sweeps through me and I become the wind, an ecstatic tornado of pure energy….

There is a part of me, somewhere beyond intellectual reasoning or the Missouri “Show Me” eddict, that KNOWS how all time is ONE time and all beings ONE being. My awareness of that doesn’t bleed into parts of that so much as aspects of that.

There is another part of me, bound by physical laws into a particular aspect, that thinks of myself as both singular and separate from the One.

And the ONE is enjoying this. Savoring the experience.

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Into the Forest

1133472-1920x1080-beautiful-forest-454hete.jpgWhen I was a kid, there was a forest right beside our house. This was in the middle of suburbia, mind you, but they hadn’t gotten around to building there yet, so lots of big beautiful trees still made magic of the place, a kid’s paradise.

I made friends with the wildlife: birds, frogs, porcupines, foxes, salamanders, mice… and the neighbors often brought me orphaned or injured animals to take care of because I was always willing and had a fair degree of success with them.

I always loved to run through the woods and play adventure games, ala Cowboys and Indians, Star Trek, or Twilight Zone, with my cousins, friends, and various neighbor kids. In the fall, there’d be piles of leaves to toss around in and slide on. When I had parties, one of the things we particularly liked to do was go hiking in the moon-lit woods.

And no, our parents didn’t worry about it all that much. This was in the days before the milk carton kids became a thing. Heck, people didn’t even lock their front doors in those days. Parents didn’t worry about their kids being outside out of sight all day until they actually missed super. It was THAT relaxed a lifestyle. Not like today’s state of constant parental and personal paranoia over everything. I wasn’t afraid of much either.

I can recall climbing up old pine trees via toe and finger holds in the thickly crenelated bark and stubs of once-branches until I got to the actual branches. It was usually about 15 to 20 feet off the ground that I’d be settling onto a branch that spread out like a magic carpet floating and gently swaying in the summer breeze and there open up whatever book I’d carried up in my pocket to read.

Ha… a partial list of these books would the Narnia Chronicles, The Back of the North Wind, A Wrinkle in Time, White Fang, Trouble in Fez, The Box Car Children, The Time Machine, Shining Through, The Diary of Anne Frank, Robinson Crusoe, Swiss Family Robinson, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Wind & the Lion, Tom Sawyer, The Prince and the Pauper, Yellow Eyes, Chariots of the Gods, Oliver Twist, Mary Queen of Scotts, A Thousand & One Arabian Nights, Black Beauty, Jane Eyre, Squanto, A Girl Named Sooner, On the Night of the Seventh Moon, From Time to Time, Race Against Time, Heidi, The Little Dikkado…

Do you see a pattern? because, in retrospect, there is one; a strong one. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it’s been the light on my path all along.

Another favorite game we all played in the forest was building forts or villages. We’d build tepees out of sticks, sometimes plastered with mud and leaves, or lodges out of fallen pine branches, tree houses, dug outs roofed in boards or fallen trees, or make due with hollow stumps or full trees, usually singed big red cedar left over from a long ago forest fire. The edges of the paths between we’d always decorate with white stones. And there we’d share snacks and stories and “let’s pretend” adventures.

I was naive enough to think it would be okay to live that way someday for real if I wanted to. We should be able to, it seems to me, but the corporations own everything.

Some people don’t make it according corporation rules. They don’t have the skills or aptitude to be employed that way or, if they are employed, earn enough to actually live on. They have to choose between food or shelter. Sometimes neither is an option and they end up begging. Or they’re burdened by addictions that end up making them undesirable, unemployable, and dangerous as well. That last is their own fault, but the former shouldn’t even be a problem to them or anyone else.

Why does each and every single piece of land need to be owned by and profitable to some corporation? The fact of the matter is, though every piece of land is somehow owned, not all of it is actually being used. Yet heaven forbid and indigent build their own shelter there, having failed to survive the corporate world and wanting to just make it on their own. The police or sheriff or forest rangers will come along, drive them out, and tear down their shelter.

What is a homeless person supposed to do when they don’t want to go to a shelter or can’t because it’s too full? Why are normal, harmless, survival tactics being forbidden them? I mean, I get it if they’re encroaching on the personal space of others, leaving garbage around, being threatening, or just a nuisance, but what if they retreated from suburbia or the city and formed their personal spaces in the forests or fields. If land isn’t already being used for something else, why not allow the homeless to build their camps the or maybe even tiny house villages? Why should anyone mind that? Let them grow or forage their own food, make little communal farms or something? Shouldn’t there be an option like this available to those who don’t make it according to the rules and restrictions of larger society? Why penalize or restrict them?

Just asking. At heart, I’m still the kid who built forts in the forest and thought it would be okay to live there if I really wanted to.

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You Say That I’m a Witch Like It’s a Bad Thing

Some people freak when they hear me identify as a witch and I’m pretty sure it’s just because they don’t understand what I mean by that.  Also, they’ve received extensive religious programming on the topic and so really can’t help themselves.  So maybe I should help them understand?  I think we’d all get along better if only we could better understand one another.

When I say that I’m a witch, I mean that I have a certain mindset, similar to that of a religious person, except a lot more flexible.  I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do have a particular way of looking at things.  Here are the basics:

  1.  All things, from Creation on, begin with magic and are magical through and through: every being, every miracle, every hope, every blessing, every curse, every motivation, every action, every aspect of science, of life, and even religion.  Do you know we never ever really touch tangible objects but merely transfer energy from one thing to another and that translates as actually “feeling” it?
  2. While science is purportedly objective and religion subjective, to me they are really just two sides of the same coin that will eventually merge into one another.
  3. All things are connected in a field of conscious energy.  I call that field “The Source of All That Is.”  A religious person might call some aspect of it “God.”  A scientist (religious ones excepted), might call it “Cause and Effect,” refusing to personalize it beyond that.  But it clearly has intelligence and we are all aspects of it.  Call us It’s “Creative Expressions” who are also able to create in our own right, albeit on a smaller scale at present.
  4. The above three facts/concepts (whichever you choose to call it) means that we can and do regularly affect one another and can do so as much on purpose as by accident.  The former is why spells work, as do collective prayers, and concerted efforts.  The latter is why we are important to one another in ways both tiny and humongous and also how we manage to accrue karma, whether we want it or not.
  5. We are eternal souls.  Our only prisons, our physical circumstances and the beliefs that encompass them, is only temporary.  We can change our minds, change our circumstances, or leave our bodies.  Leaving doesn’t mean we have to physically die.  Some of us can come and go as we please.  Many do.  Dreams are the pathway even for those who can’t do so consciously.  Physical “death” is the pathway for everyone.  Once on the other side of the barrier, beliefs can only limit  us for a little while.  They can be our Heaven or Hell, should we be inclined to believe those things.  We get what we honestly feel we deserve.  We are our only judges.  But eventually we all realize that we have the freedom not only to choose, but to create our reality.  Our Source knows no limitation and our varied proximity to that reflects It.
  6. “Good” is kind, helpful, .loving, creative, progressive, positive, uplifting, educational, unifying, free….
  7. “Bad” is cruel, negligent, hateful, destructive, digressive, negative, oppressive, willful or imposed ignorance, divisive, repressive…
  8. These distinctions are less distinct on the Other Side since negative things and, despite appearances, have a positive result in the greater scheme of things.

I purposely don’t include the terms “tolerant” or “intolerant” in my descriptions of good and bad since both depend on circumstance to be good or bad and are really neither in and of themselves.  For instance, being tolerant of someone’s religion, does not mean you should tolerate being abused on account of their religion.  That’s just common sense.  You know?

In case you’re wondering, I have both tried religion and studied it.  I was at one time a Pentecostal Christian and later a Shi-ite Muslim and have joined many  a friend, just in moral support, in their forms of religion before I tired of religion too entirely to really associate with it anymore.  This doesn’t mean I hate religious people.  Far from it.  I just no longer wish to show support for things I find either limiting or in any way unbelievable or crude.


  1. The concept of a vengeful or jealous god.  This is so petty a view of the Source I find it embarrassing to even pay lip service to.  I can see a savage primitive acting this way, but not an infinitely advanced being.
  2. The concept of gender, race, or ethnicity being somehow second to another via nature alone.  We all may have our preferences, but kindly leave off the artificial stratification.  The Source is in all of us as we are in the Source.  We make of ourselves what we will.  Actions speaking louder that words is as far as I will go on this concept.  That alone is worthy of stratification as far as I’m concerned.
  3. Some thoughts are encouraged and others forbidden.  Thank you, NO.  I will think what I damn well please and you do NOT own my bridle.  If I happen to believe in reincarnation (which I wholehearted DO) you do not get to tell me I’m not allowed to as my once-upon-a-time Sunday School teacher used to do.
  4. That someone else dies to save me from my sins.  No.  Sweet concept, but I don’t believe it works that way.  You can if you want.  I can understand the comfort you find in that.  But I feel I’m responsible for own rights and wrongs and I wouldn’t put that on someone else’s shoulders even if I could.  We learn from our mistakes and we have lots of chances to get it right.
  5. The concept of having to believe or perform rituals the “right” way or we will go to Hell.  I call bullshit on that one and don’t want anyone thinking I agree with it in any manner, shape, or form.

Oh, and I shouldn’t have to mention this, but…

  1. NO, witches do NOT believe in the Christian concept of Satan or the Devil.  At most, we believe some souls, still trapped in their physical beliefs after death, might linger a while as evil/disturbed spirits but we don’t ever worship them.  That would be pretty silly.  A witch will only exorcise or keep at bay such if they deal with them at all.  Most efforts to speak with passed on spirits involve a ritualistic effort to keep out the bad or at least their effects.
  2. We do NOT do blood sacrifices.  Well most don’t.  The rebels might.  Just as there is a religious faction called “Satanism” that is really only a rebellion/parody against fundamentalist Christianity, most particularly Catholicism, there are factions of rebel witches called “The Golden Bough” or “The Blood Drinkers” that are a rebellion/parody against standard witch mindset.  I am not of either category.  I believe what I believe because it makes sense to me, not because anyone crammed it down my throat.  Having religious-type concepts crammed down your throat but being too comfortable in ritual or suffering cognitive dissonance when feelings fight imposed “beliefs” results in oppositional rebellion in free-thinkers.  Not my issue.  Just so you know.

Second thought, I can really only apply these last two points to Wiccans and other white witches.  It probably doesn’t apply in more primitive versions of tribal witchcraft but this is something I know only a little about since I, and all of the modern witches I know, pretty much avoid associating with that.

So anyway, that’s the mindset that makes me a witch.  Please don’t say it like it’s a bad thing.  It’s not for me.  It’s just who I am.  I’m just being honest with myself and others.  I hope you are okay with that.



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1. Woke from a dream where Amy and I were leaving Jeb to climb down from the seats in an arena to go get some sort of treatment for our hair and feet. I was irked because I had to get up before getting the treatment. In real life, I have full, long, and very soft hair, which I shed all over the place like a persian cat. Extremely annoying. And my feet are dry and prickly at night to the point that I sometimes just get up rather than just lay there feeling them. Go figure. Any guesses on what the dream is trying to tell me? As opposed to my frequent travel dreams, this one felt purely symbolic.

2. With all the pure evil committed in accordance with fundamentalist Islam, the only way that good people who happen to be Muslim can escape association with its evil is to leave it. Otherwise, I foresee a coming Holocaust in which billions of Muslims, innocent or otherwise, will die as horribly as their victims have done. I hope they know this and will stop before it’s too late for them.

3. My cute little bunny, Romeo, needs to learn some new communication techniques to indicate his various wants. Right now, he just suddenly stops cuddling and digs frantically at the person he’s trying to message. It can mean “Put me down quick, I need to pee!” or “How dare you play on your Gameboy when I am here?!” or “Brush me, slave!” or, “Okay, I was a good bunny for my bath now where is that lovely, Loverly, hair blower?” or “I need to run around like a crazy bun and kick my heels in the air right this instant!” or “Ooh, a cat! I want to play with the cat!”

4. Religion is a tricky thing. On the one hand, it’s no accident. New souls often choose it as a way to really capitalize on their limitations here. Kind of puts a fine edge on them. Makes them work harder. Corrupt elitist sorts use it to control the masses. It’s one of the most effective forms of mind control ever invented. It replaces independent thought with rote programming.  Old souls have little use for it because of its limitations. They’ve had enough of the limitations and are now ready to explore freedom in a physical world. And religion tries to stop them. LOL.

5. I haven’t had any flight dreams for a while now and hence, no real travel. Seriously going through withdrawals here!

6. Vulnerability (physical/emotional weakness or trauma in one’s psychological makeup) is too often attractive to the wrong people. This is why I try so hard NOT to be vulnerable. Snakes on the make like their targets vulnerable. Rapists and murderers like vulnerable victims. Slavers and psychic vampires need vulnerable people or they wouldn’t be able to function at all. MK Ultra relied on vulnerable test subjects to meet its nefarious requirements. End point: whatever awful thing you’ve been through, please suck it up and try to get stronger from it; not weaker and not touchy. Don’t be easily triggered. It alerts predators to your vulnerability. Don’t let run your life because if you do, other people will use it to run your life and they won’t have your best interests in mind.

7. A lot of people – especially religious people – don’t understand true magic. It’s no perversion of the natural world. Far from it; it’s as natural as the occurrence of water and sunlight and living things here in this abundant world. It’s the stuff miracles are made of. It’s the energies that flow between us and connect all things. When you cast a spell, you are plucking the delicate strings that flow between us and sending your vibrations along them, sure as a spider plucks its web or its prey arrives thereon. Wait a minute. Not a great image there but, the thing is, the vibrations go both ways so sending them should always be done with caution and respect. If you violate someone’s free will or sanctity, you risk your own. Either way, it’s natural. Beliefs are all that stop its free expression. A side note is that beliefs, religion a particularly ironic aspect, do not simply limit or stop magic, but they can limit and even cut off connection with our Prime Source, which is kind of a shame.

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The Darkest Side of Night

It’s night and it seems like you’ve been driving through it forever, you in your little car. Trees and mountains, twinkle-lit skyscrapers, mesas and cacti, are all mere silhouettes against the starry night as you pass among them.

Your little car suddenly coughs and then sputters. This, in a place where the darkness has grown flat and shapeless around you, apparently uninhabited open desert. It gives you a pang of fear and desolation. If your car breaks down, who knows how long you will be lost out here, utterly alone, at the mercy of elements both known and unknown? Who will be there to save you?

Your car DOES break down of course. Murphy’s Law in action. Or lack thereof as it were.

Coyotes cry. There are strange calls and growls and thumps. Mysterious wings flap by. The wind howls forlornly. Now and then, you hear the crunch of small feet or a slithering through the sand but can’t see anything. It keeps you awake and petrified.

Finally comes the first flush of false dawn and you can now see something of the landscape and the small creatures that move about in it, oblivious to your presence. You have mixed feelings about this.

It seems like forever since you’ve dawn or light has filled the space around you. You know it though and you have attendent assumptions about it as well. You could continue sitting here, but the rising light is growing in warmth and brightness as it flows into real dawn and eventually might just roast you here. Or you could take a chance while the light is still gentle and there’s still some coolness in the desert; just get out of the car and go seeking after your own rescue or sanctuary.

You’re still very afraid to move, but reluctantly decide on the later course of action since roasting is even less appealing. You get out of the car, lock it with the electronic fob as an afterthought, and begin to walk down the road through the twi-lit desert.

The light keeps coming and soon it’s a flood of light, tinging the sky first purple, red, gold, pink, and then blue, flooding out the stars, dazzling your eyes. It’s beauty is overwhelming.

The desert melts away.

Everything is light and the light is everything.

What am I describing?

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The 40th Century Mississippi

40th century…
Floating cities above, wilderness homes below. There’s a sea where the Mississippi used to be.  The American continent is smaller and cleaved in two with a lot of both Pacific and Atlantic coasts just missing. So is Florida. Hawaii is larger and the people there isolated from the mainland.
There is also an inland sea where the Great Lakes used to be. Not sure if it’s separate from the Mississippi or not, but there’s a lot of island scattered water there. A return, I think, as is the prevalence of plesiosaurs now apparent there. That’s what they look like anyway.
The human races appear to have homogenized and none are distinct anymore.
Religion has long since disappeared along with its authorities. The same is true for politics. Yet there are active temples representing nearly all cultural traditions and mythos are everywhere. All except for Islam. There is no sign of Islam or anything like it anywhere in the world.

Spirituality is alive and well. People connect with each other and their Source, which is no longer viewed as separate or in any way jealous or punishing.  Oh.  And the cultural traditions of Christianity as well as its core teachings (especially those) are also still alive and well.  Better than ever in fact.

 There is neither marriage nor sexual promiscuity nor gender apartheid in the cities.  The young are strongly encouraged not to even have a sexual relationship unless they are truly in love with that person.  The gender doesn’t matter.  The love does.  And maturity.
Greece is the center of the civilized world but there is another major civilization located in the far northern climes, Scandinavian area, where a large swathe of humanity survived a nuclear disaster. Something related to a war but ET intervention prevented total devastation and that area was somehow protected from deadly fallout.
Sentient machines run the city states, which appear to be perfectly socialistic. Everyone shares everything and there are very few actual laws beyond simple consideration for others. No one is homeless.  No one is hungry.  Population is tightly controlled.  Everyone patched in some way.  Permission is required for giving birth since the “old world” suffered much of its devastation from overpopulation.
There is no such thing as private property or haves and have-nots with only the exception of those refuse to live harmoniously in the cities.  The misfits make their own way down in the wilderness with no more help from the cities nor dealings of any kind with them.
Those who commit extremely violent crimes are summarily executed by the intelligent machine. No trial. No judgement. No waiting. No prison. No continued threat to others. It’s over.  This could have caused the die out of Islam, though I get the impression that it happened long before this time period right, in fact, pretty much in our time due to its extreme dysfunction in the body of humanity.
Humanity has evolved. It looks the same, albeit perfected, but the brain is far more efficient and what we call psi now is just normal there, even mundane. We have far more abilities than were previously approached. Full consciousness has exploded into the cosmos.
There are no more wars nor power-mongering elite.  Violent crimes are extremely rare and very quickly and efficiently dealt with.  Humanity is free to be the best it can be.
There was flirtation was space travel in the 21st and 22nd centuries(?) and a colony on Mars that lasted 60 years but suffered a horrific enough natural disaster to have even the human race PTSD for centuries after.
So 40th century earthlings do not travel the cosmos via some Star Trek Enterprise at all. They do so via OBE if at all. And they have colonies in orbit above the floating cities as well.
Speaking of the Mississippi… Mark Twain called it “Too thick to drink and too thin to plow.” I made the recipe equivalent of that yesterday in my smaller crock pot:
Leftover grilled fajita meat, apple-wood smoked bacon pieces, onions, a cup of barley, 3 stalks of chopped celery, a small chopped, peeped, eggplant, chopped potatoes, tiny carrots, Italian herbs, a couple cans of chopped stewed tomatoes with chilies, a can of ginger-ale….
Cooked it all day while we went to Pike Place Market and played.  Bought a special seasoning called Chorizzo Bomb there and added it to what I had in the crock pot when I got home.
The end result about two hours later was thicker than stew but a little thin to be casserole. Like the thickness of mashed potatoes but a lot tastier. What do you call that? My Mississippi perhaps? It was really good and spicy whatever else it might be. Yumness.
Note: The above descriptions of the future are not from visions of my own but rather the reports of various people who have made claims of visiting the future.  They all correspond with each other pretty well so I wrote them down as a cohesive piece.  However, I feel that time is a mutable illusion and nothing there set in stone.  Just knowing it can change it.  We should change whatever parts we don’t like.  We CAN change whatever parts we don’t like.  And we can take inspiration from those we DO like.
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