Senior Citizen Packing Heat

Crazy people can get gun licenses.  Senior citizens too.  Does it worry you?

I found this old newspaper clipping I saved from an email forward I don’t know how long ago and there’s no date showing on it.  It gave me a fit of giggles this morning, so I thought I’d share it having copied it down since the original photograph of it wasn’t very good:

(This supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida)

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun and I know how to use it!  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.  They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.  She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried and then realized why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.  She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. 

He pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story?

If you’re going to have a senior moment, make it memorable.

About Ampbreia

I'm an ex-Pentacostal, ex-Muslim, ecclectic Agnostic with slightly Wiccan leanings. I am not affiliated with any organized religion or political platform, but I do believe in magic and all things wise and wonderful. I work as an admin in a calibration lab. I've published 2 books so far this year: Lost in Foreign Passions: Love and betrayal, passion and loss in the heart of an alien land (a memoir of my time as a Muslimah and living in Iran for a year), written under my previous married name, Debra Kamza, and Dream Lover (a paranormal romance, the tale of witch that summons her favorite character out of a Bewitched spin-off and the actor who plays him as well). I'm constantly writing stories and poems, thoughts and dreams, and quite a few opinions - many of which are not popular but oh well. Bite me. I'm interested in art, animals, the paranormal, and people. I love to dance, all sorts, but have been studying belly dance since 2006 and LOVE it! I love anime too and love dressing up and going to conventions. My writing runs the gummut of historical, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and erotica. Beware: I may not be safe reading for work. Just saying....
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11 Responses to Senior Citizen Packing Heat

  1. whyzat says:

    Holy crap! Good thing she had enough sense not to shoot! And thatthe guys had the sense to run away!


    • ampbreia says:

      That’s the thing with guns: they’re designed for one purpose only – to kill. Even if they’re bought or used by a well-meaning person just for self defense or defense of family, someone can still end up dead, regardless of whether or not the threat was real… Children may get hold of it – though by rights they shouldn’t have access, but it only takes one slip up and someone dies. Someone, not just senior citizens, can happen to have said gun in hand when an emotional situation hits them, fear, fury, panic, rebellion, and someone ends up dead even though the situation didn’t really call for it… just a passing fit. And heaven forbid the people who get guns with mayhem already on their mind as a lot of people lately seem to do. I really can’t see guns being good for anyone to have.


  2. ampbreia says:

    It sure is! I still think it’s pretty funny. Is that bad?


  3. I think this is so so SO funny! 😀
    HUGS!!! 🙂


  4. rainbow76 says:

    I found this so funny! 😀 I guess it wouldn’t have been funny if she accidentally shot those guys. Glad they ran when they did. Poor guys! 😀


  5. This is hilarious. I just wrote a (mostly) joking post about Senior Citizens and gun rights and never has it seemed more appropriate to share.


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