Morning thoughts with addendum

1.  When I visited my mother-in-law in the hospital and my father-in-law came in to hold her hands and tell her that she’d had a stroke, I thought it very curious that I could see/feel her aura/energy field but not his.  I should have known exactly what that meant – that he was about to leave this plane of existence.  I’m not in the habit of doubting myself when I see that, but his proximity to her made another explanation possible in my mind: that her energy was somehow enough for the both of them to have been living on and would continue.  Her aura wasn’t at all weak, despite the fact that she was recovering from a stroke. 

Still, it was puzzling.  I’d never seen anyone’s energy carrying the full weight of someone else.  So I told Jeb what I did know for sure: that if she died (which I don’t see her doing any time soon), then he would die within the day.  She could live on without him, but not he without her… which was true enough, I suppose, but not the whole truth, only what I saw. 

He had a heart attack last Monday, was taken to the hospital, and put on life support.  He had a living will though so when he hadn’t regained consciousness or shown any sign of improvement whatsoever on Wednesday, they took him off life support. His heart and breathing stopped within less than a minute.  He must have already left his body before it even arrived at the hospital.

He’s agnostic, so had no religious requirements for his funeral.  He’s being cremated and his ashes scattered from a boat or a pier in his favorite fishing spot. 

What a difference a week or two can make.  One moment you’re here, the next you’re gone.  Many of us aren’t ready yet… still have so much to do… but I think he was.  There lay no unsettledness in his wake.  I have no inkling of what he came here for, maybe it was his work as a doctor.  I didn’t know him well enough to judge.  But whatever it was, he was content with it and so was she, incidentally.  That’s the best any of us can hope for.

2.  I dreamt last night of… Hm.  There was a group of us travelling around a forest that was like a country unto itself.  The giant trees were hollow and people lived in them or used them as fortresses.

I had two partners: one called Urich, whom I was travelling with; another referred to by him and my other travelling companions simply as “The Witch.”

Humph.  I thought I was The Witch, but I guess she was witchery than me and Ulrich was in a jealous snit about her presence in my life which, by the way, was curious in its own right.  I’m straight after all.  She was a friend, not a lover, but Ulrich was certain she was my lover.  GAH.

The fact that I was having anything at all to do with someone like Ulrich was far more baffling.  He was a gun nut that loved war games and killing.  He was one that had made a fortress out of a hollow tree and a deadly cannon out of a hollow branch that he enjoyed shooting at people.  I was really furious at him about that just as he was at me for having “the Witch” in my life that he was somehow keeping me separated from.  We were fighting bitterly up in that tree and… Jeb, I think, was trying to keep us from cudgeling each other our wooden staffs.

Dumb dream.  Glad I woke up.

3.  Headlines I saw this weekend: Norwegian Woman Fighting Jail Sentence for Reporting Rape.  Yeah, you read that right.  And this was in Dubai, which prides itself for being semi-libral/egalitarian/Westernized.  NOT.  Lest anyone forget it, it is still very much a part of Dar Islam… and I don’t mean that in a good way.  It is very Islamist to arrest female victims of rape.  In some parts of Dar Islam, they are even executed by being stoned to death for the “crime” of illicit sex, even though it wasn’t their choice.  Pisses me the hell off!  But Dubai just arrests them.  It’s still ass backwards justice.  Islamist sexism.  What a piece of sh*ty work!  Well, Dubai, we needed this reminder from you, didn’t we, that Dubai should not be considered a member of the civilized world.  Fancy our almost forgetting that!  GRRRR….

ADDENDUM: The Norwegian woman that was arrested in Dubai for reporting rape has just been released due, apparently, to the fact that she went public about it, thereby tarnishing Dubai’s attempt at putting for a Westernized image for the sake of commerce.  See:  Yes, they were embarrassed and justly so.  Sometimes it takes an outside reaction to realize when you’re doing something wrong.  I hope this makes thing better for the women of Dubai as well and isn’t just a flight of passing dimplomacy.

4.  Muslim immigrant I chanced to talk to complained to me that he couldn’t get a date.  I told him he should just go ahead and marry whatever nice Muslimah his parents picked for him because a free-born American woman wouldn’t be right for him nor him for her. 

He said he liked the latter better, that he found them more interesting, more freeing.  He didn’t respect them but he LIKED them very much. 

I was like:  WTF?  Excuse me?  Sorry buddy, but we really do prefer to be respected. 

He’s still very puzzled as to why none will date him.  Well, not puzzled so much as disappointed.  He knows why American women won’t date him.  He’s been told many times.  He just doesn’t feel like he can do anything about it.  Poor guy being stuck in the Dark Ages like that.

5.  American men are the best in my opinion, for what it’s worth.  I hope you guess appreciate yourselves and that the women in your life appreciate you too.  Yes, there are some bad apples in any harvest, but the standards here in growing them tend to encourage the good more than the bad and that really does matter quite a lot.

6.  Mmmmm….  I could go for a nice crunchy, juicy, sweet-tart Fuji or Granny Smith right now. 

7.  Favorite bumper sticker: “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy when fried and good with ketchup.”  Which really has nothing to do with anything.  Just tickles me is all.


About Ampbreia

I'm an ex-Pentacostal, ex-Muslim, ecclectic Agnostic with slightly Wiccan leanings. I am not affiliated with any organized religion or political platform, but I do believe in magic and all things wise and wonderful. I work as an admin in a calibration lab. I've published 2 books so far this year: Lost in Foreign Passions: Love and betrayal, passion and loss in the heart of an alien land (a memoir of my time as a Muslimah and living in Iran for a year), written under my previous married name, Debra Kamza, and Dream Lover (a paranormal romance, the tale of witch that summons her favorite character out of a Bewitched spin-off and the actor who plays him as well). I'm constantly writing stories and poems, thoughts and dreams, and quite a few opinions - many of which are not popular but oh well. Bite me. I'm interested in art, animals, the paranormal, and people. I love to dance, all sorts, but have been studying belly dance since 2006 and LOVE it! I love anime too and love dressing up and going to conventions. My writing runs the gummut of historical, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and erotica. Beware: I may not be safe reading for work. Just saying....
This entry was posted in Family, Middle East, News and politics, Relationships, religion, Thoughts and Dreams, Uncategorized, Women's Issues. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Morning thoughts with addendum

  1. kaylar says:

    yum. love that bumper sticker. other thought. re the muslim that liked american women. i love that his heart knew more than his head. which sounds so obvious when i write it out like that. but, is his heart strong enough to change his head space? are his values too deep rooted? will he never listen to his heart, more?


  2. ampbreia says:

    I don’t know. I felt bad for him for being so at odds with himself. He knew what was wrong but didn’t seem to feel he could help it. Guess it’s hard to get past one’s upbringing.


  3. neegee says:

    My sister is very dark skinned and get mistaken for a lot of other races other than Native American Indian. LOL She dated a guy form Egypt once Just once and it was over. She said I am sorry but Native women don’t take Sh*t from men in our culture. I laughed at her when she told me that whole story. He thought she needed to be told her place as a woman and she let him have it (verbally) I still laugh at that. I agree American men can be a lot more liberal and allowing women to be who they need to be. My best friend was married to a Pakistani man who beat her for being herself. She was outspoken and loud before she was marred why he liked her. I was so happy when she divorced him but it really changed her. 😦 Any man has the propensity to be a controlling jerk but it seems some cultures are worse than others. It isn’t just Muslims but heard of this in Amish and Mennonite communities as well. I think religious rule is the problem. I am sure you agree.
    As far as seeing that future for a person I have seen t too. 😦 Example: I knew my friend was going to have a miscarriage and I didn’t know why could just see it in my minds eye. I cringed every time she talked about the things she bought and plans. I didn’t tell her because I was unsure I should. When she lost her child I told her I knew and she was so angry I didn’t tell her. I don’t think she was mad at me so much as she was upset. I don’t like this ability at times. I try and ignore it but like you said it’s hard not to notice.
    WOW that was a long reply but Very interesting subjects you had, I had to share with you.


  4. ampbreia says:

    Yeah, that’s true of free-born women in general. Good for your sister getting out while the getting was good! And yes, I agree it’s not just Muslim guys but hardliner religionists in general. Religion in general, especially of the Abrahamic variety doesn’t tend to be very good for women and these guys just reflect that fact.

    As to telling someone that they or someone they love is going to die, I’m generally a little shy of that too. I DO tell them anyway if I think it will matter but mostly they either won’t listen or just don’t want to hear it so it doesn’t do much good. When I saw death for my 3rd cousin’s father, I was nervous of telling my cousin that. I’m not sure why… But I did give him extremely heavy hints that he should really go see his father as soon as possible and bugged him about it daily. He kept saying he was busy and he’d go soon.

    Well he didn’t go soon enough. His father died inside the month. My cousin arrived only in time for the funeral. SIGH.

    BTW, I like your wordy comments.

    I don’t know what this sight is good for if not to do something useful with.


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