1. The fact of so many opportunities lately for losing some of what I consider my best writing (due to computer crashes, Xanga death, misplacing things, etc.) has made me suddenly very anxious to publish a lot of things that I might otherwise tend to keep sitting on: poetry, recipes, certain collections of essays and stories… I’m still nervous of entrusting these to my computer however; still using the old one while the newer one is in the shop and may not actually be fixable. My mind-set on this account has been a bit frantic lately.
2. Thinking of Kara Thrace on Battlestar Galactica again, her one fear: Being forgotten. I know I’m not important enough to be remembered for long at all if I should suddenly go away and, I don’t know… I’m kind of okay with that. But there are things I need to do here first… things that will matter.
3. Life seems like an artificial experience sometimes, like Mars in that movie Total Recall or the illusionary world in The Matrix or the holo-deck in Star Trek the Next Generation or the various personalities in Dollhouse: Not real but engineered to con you into full participation, which is achieving more than you are actually seeing on the surface.
4. Did NOT want to get up this morning I was finally sleeping so heavily toward dawn after flip-flopping and spells of hot and cold all night long. Tried in vain to convince Jeb to leave me alone, that it was really only Sunday. Yet, unconvinced, this evilly bouncing morning person persisted in pestering me out of bed. Felt kind of irate at him for that. Thought he was doing things backwards: Come ON Jeb! Pester me IN to bed, not OUT of it! What’s wrong with you? Oh yeah: work. *SIGH* Methinks he likes my wages.
5. So afraid I’m going to die of old age without another drop of romance of lovemaking. I’ll have to wait for that in yet another lifetime. Makes me rather anxious to get this one over with already! Feeling VERY pouty and sad about that most days. Okay… EVERY day, ALL day and night. It hardly seems fair.
6. Going to brew a cup of coffee on my Kuerig in the meeting room this morning, I noticed a piece of old paper laying on the table, irregular, crumpled, folded, as though it had been torn from a book and carelessly used. I hate the idea of pages torn from books. Then I noticed some other things about the paper. The brown and faded print had a look to it like purple mimeograph print when it gets old. Mimeograph: the clunky messy predecessor to the modern copy machine. Did a lousy job. Also, there were brown age spots along the edges of the paper and impressions apparently from fingerprints when the page was still fresh and powdery from from the mimeograh. That paper, in other words, had to be at least as old as I am. It looked, at first, like it had a diagram on it. I put my reading glasses on to look closer and got a surprise: it was ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs with a translation of each in English next to it. I recognized enough of them to realize there was no mistaking this. It’s a codex! I wonder how that got here? Interesting.
7. Time for me to get busy here. Good morning!