Ha. Maybe first I should explain what I mean by “Reverts.” Anyone whose never been Muslim would just call them converts to Islam. The reason Muslims call them “Reverts” is out of the belief that everyone is born Muslim quite naturally and either raised that way if they have the “right” parents or are “converted” to some other religion if the have the “wrong” ones.
I don’t share this belief and never did even when I was Muslim. I just find it amusing because Islam never felt natural to me. It always felt like something you have to work hard at getting right CONSTANTLY and still find oneself continually making “mistakes” in interpretation or conduct because it does NOT come naturally.
S’okay. Enough explaining.
I saw this article about “revert” women leaving Islam.
In it, there’s a letter from a lonely revert saying how alone she feels since converting to Islam and is desperately looking for a way not to feel alone. The one who is posting her letter is very sympathetic, explaining how reverts are often rejected by their non-Muslim family members and sidelined, ignored, and/or emotionally abandoned by their new Muslim friends/family who invariably suggest arranged marriage to a Muslim male to fix what ails her and how it tends not to work out very well. All of which generally contributes to the revert eventually falling out of Islam.
All of this is true in a very tip-of-the-iceberg kind of way.
Your non-Muslim family does tend to reject you or you are in some other way divided from them by your new Muslim acquaintances, family, or spouse. But it’s part of the “reversion” process! I’m not the only once-revert this has happened to. In fact, it happens to most of us. Even if our family doesn’t reject us, we are discouraged from continuing to socialize with them at first and eventually downright forbidden. This is the same tactic that many a cult uses to keep its converts. They cut you off from your old support systems so they can fully dictate your new ones, thereby controlling YOU.
I don’t think Muslims deliberately abandon their “reverts” in any way so much as simply consider their part in the conversion over.
The revert has the Koran and has been duly advise to seek out hadith or religious teacher counsel if they need any kind of help at all. And I mean ANY. Every facet of daily life is dictated in Islam. There is no free thought or decision making anymore. There’s even instructions on how to go potty, what hand to wipe with, what to eat with, what you can eat, what you can wear, how you should enter and leave a room, proper etiquette in all circumstances, what is and isn’t forbidden, ect. There are even “new” laws of nature that only sound scientific if you know nothing about real science. Sperm comes from the base of a man’s spine, for instance, and the mountains are anchors that keep the earth firm in place.
As to marriage being the fix for the lonely revert, it doesn’t work for one very important reason: to a freeborn woman, a Muslim man is the worst possible husband imaginable: controlling, temperamental, abusive, oppressive, jealous in the extreme (as in no possible competition ever better talk to his wife or even look at her – but it would be all her fault if he did), mama-spoiled beyond redemption, and psychotic enough to kill her fairly easily. Once married to him, she will never be allowed again to leave the house, drive, hold a job, get an education, have guests, or dress the way she likes without his explicit permission. He’s allowed to beat or even kill her if he even thinks she’s thinking of rebelling. He considers himself her absolute ruler. He can marry up to 4 wives and have however many concubines(sex slaves) he likes, but she is stuck with only him. Her voice is worth only half of his in court. He has the sole discretion over whether or not she can divorce him and he WILL take the kids in that event and allow her no access to them in most cases. Also, his mother’s vote on how to raise the kids or anything will invariably outweigh his wife’s/wives. Most, oddly enough, are mama’s boys in the extreme.
Gee, I wonder why those marriages never work with freeborn women?
All that said, loneliness or marital dissatisfaction are far from being the only reasons that revert women – or anyone – leaves Islam. No, the more important reason is that Islam stops making sense once you’re off the spoon feeding and are studying it on your own. It’s entire history is violent, intolerant, and hateful to everyone including her non-Muslim relatives and extremely oppressive to women. It takes the whole god concept and turns it into a being of such mind-boggling wrath that it makes the old fashioned church concept of demons look utterly tame and sweet.
YES, we understood exactly what were leaving when we left Islam. We knew that beast all too well and, having been brought up, pre-reversion, to think for ourselves, we couldn’t not see it for what it was. Ha. Especially not with the headlines fundamentalists are always making for Islam. I mean, who in their right mind could possibly love the religion that condones hatred, terrorism, slavery, kidnapping, oppression, inequality between people, torture, maiming, and repression? And the hijab? Well that’s the least of it, but is as annoying as hell. It gets OLD after a while. Okay?