Afterlife Thoughts

Many religious people believe that God judges them in the afterlife and assigns them either Heaven or Hell for the rest of their eternity.  Many are of the opinion that it is not so correct action, but correct belief that gets one to Heaven and that incorrect belief, even accompanied by correct action, will get one to Hell.

You get infinite reward or punishment for finite deeds/beliefs.

I once believed that too, back in my days of religion (first Pentecostal Christian, then Shi-ite Muslim), but my eventual reaction to that was if God is really that way about it, then he’s petty, unjust, and not worth worshiping.  Old Testament accounts of God’s behavior just enforced that impression and convinced me that if God was like that, then Christ had absolutely nothing to do with him since Christ is nearly always portrayed as loving, forgiving, just, and easy going.

That whole thought process emerged from religious roots.  That said, it makes perfect sense to me that the highest incidence of the Satanic Church are in the so-called Bible Belt where non-conformists to religious majority or most likely to be sidelined and harassed.  The Satanic Church is not a separate religion from the Christian Church; it’s a direct reaction thereto and therefore merely a sect of Christianity.  Christians will probably hate my saying so, but I’m pretty sure Satanism wouldn’t exist at all if not for the need of some people badgered into religion to rebel. 

Some people can live with the cognitive dissonance caused by inner beliefs contrasting with those imposed from without.  Others can’t.  I couldn’t.  You cram religion down a free spirit’s throat and they will rebel.  Rebellion is what forges sectism in some people while in others, like me, it eventually forges freedom from the box.

It was a long process for me, but living as a Muslimah for a while and seeing what life was really under religion-dominated laws left me with no taste for religion at all.  I found I didn’t need or want anyone to tell me what to do, how to think, and what to believe.  I realized I was slowly but surely forming my own beliefs and religion had nothing to do with it… except to get me started, of course.  You know what I mean.  Right?

My first step away from religion was when my Pentecostal Sunday School teacher kind of drove me away from the church by continually calling me “Tongue of Satan” whenever I questioned anything and finally topped it off by accusing me of witchcraft and preaching “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!”

I asked him what constituted witchcraft and he told me it was the expression of any kind of “supernatural” abilities: telepathy, telekinesis, farseeing, that sort of thing.  S’okay, as a teenager, I did actually fit that bill.  In particular, I was very psychic back then.  That’s when I realized he and others like him in the church, were judging me not on whatever I did on purpose, but simply what I was, with or without my trying.  They had the same attitude towards gays and people of other religions, even other sects of their own religion.

I left the church and when I returned just once for a Christmas pageant after I’d begun college, the same Sunday school teacher confronted me again.  This time, he acted friendly at first and asked what I’d been up to.  I told him about going to college and the perfect 4. GPA I was getting.  His response (scowling)? “So education is what corrupted you!  I should have known.”

I gave up trying to talk to him after that.  Apparently, to be educated was to be unholy in his book.

I converted to Islam not long after that, not because I thought it was a better religion, but simply because my teacher in it didn’t demonize me for asking questions.  I didn’t mention to him that I was witch.  He might have demonized me for that. 

He badgered me constantly to convert for him so we could marry.

I was in no hurry to marry, but I was infatuated with him and this seemed so important to him that I figured, why not?  One religion is the same as another, right?

I didn’t find out how much he’d lied about what he taught me or that Islam was NOT like any other religion until after he’d tricked me into going to Iran with him, thinking to entrap me there.

While trapped in Iran and desperate to escape with my baby son, I had my first fully conscious out-of-body experience.  That made some things very clear to me that I would otherwise not have as fully realized:

1.  I was a much, if not MORE, myself outside of my body than in it.  The ramifications for death, meant that there really is no death.  Just because you’re not in your body any longer doesn’t mean your dead or even gone.  We really are eternal beings.

2.  Our physical senses are a very limited portal for our impressions of the world.  Beyond them, nothing is dark, colors are much more intense, and nothing focussed on in oblique from sight, scent, touch, or hearing.  Distance makes no difference.  Everything is readily perceivable.

3.  I did not simply perceive the things I focussed on; I merged with them.  I realized how very much a part of the world, both seen and unseen, I really was.  The night winds, for instance, blew through me rather than against me.  I felt hot and cold as feelings not as comforts or discomforts.  I could take them exactly as they were and love them as they were.  Meh.  Too hard to explain.

4.  And this is even harder to explain: I couldn’t hide from myself.  Could delude myself about anything.  Everything about me and my perceptions were wide open.  I couldn’t lie to myself about anything.

5.  A thought could take me anywhere.  I started rushing toward my beloved full moon before suddenly realizing that I might be leaving my body and my baby son behind forever if I did so.  And with that one frightening thought, I abruptly fell all the way back down into my body with thud, arms flying out on impact, accidentally clubbing my Iranian husband over the head and waking him.  He snarled at me for that, took his bedding, and moved out into the hall for the rest of the night.

This interested me in later times to understand my own experience.  To verify it.  To think of it in terms other than religion, though, of course, I looked at religion to explain it as well.  But religion only talked of Heaven or Hell or Nirvana and Nirvana made more sense than either of the former but not enough sense.  As for Jihadis getting Paradise and 72 perpetual virgins in the afterlife after committing mass-murder suicide in the cause of religion, that was totally unbelievable, even insulting, to my mind.  If the god of the Bible was petty, Allah was positively DEMONIC to reward such bad conduct.

Yes, those were still very religious judgements on my part.  I know.  Religion is full of judgement but not necessarily common sense there.  Some things don’t make sense from a purely practical outer view.  Anyway…  I read loads about ancient aliens and their involvement with the human race and that felt a lot truer to me but it didn’t really explain the spiritual aspects of reality so much as those that are almost wholly physical.  Yes, the Ellohim probably were ancient alien geneticists, our sub-creators.  But they were created too and probably have a subspace reality of their own as surely as we do.

I found more that made sense to me in reading the communications of souls speaking from the other side as well as sidewise from Wiccan ideas of reality:

1.  All things are manifestations/expression of an infinite Mind.

2.  We are all part of our Creator.

3.  Good and Evil as we know it are manifestation that only make sense in the physical where they specifically affect our well-being and survival here but are often used deceitfully here.  People being told that doing harmful/hateful/destructive things to themselves or others is somehow a good thing or that helpful/nurturing/creative things is somehow bad.  From the viewpoint of those on the other side, experience of any kind is still a learning experience and they won’t tag it as good or bad BUT…

4.  There is a kind of judgement of our actions in the physical.  We judge ourselves.  We can’t help it.  Everyone experiences something called “Life Review” after they cross back over the great divide.  They experience everything they have done to others, will enjoy the good and feel sick at the bad.  Good and bad as we perceive it here in terms of its effect on ourselves and others. 

5.  Love is unconditional on the other side but as long as we are tangled up still in what we have done on earth, we will shut ourselves off from that.

6.  Those who have been very hurtful to others feel all that hurt as if it were being done to them.  They can’t not feel it.  We are all a part of each other.  In the physical, we can hide from that fact.  In the spiritual, there is no hiding.  Those suffering the hurts they have done are in a very dark place.  They don’t have to be.  But they have wrongs to redress and hurts to heal from before they can join the greater body of ultimate reality. 

I’m still exploring a body of information on this topic.  Still a lot to learn about it.  Details.  I need to find the right questions to ask.  But Heaven, Hell, or Nirvana?  That won’t cut it.  Not for me.

I know.  I’m being fuddy duddy about this.  I don’t want pat answers of platitudes.  I want what makes sense to me.  Answers that have pattern verification.  I’m big on finding the patterns in things in order to pick out larger pictures.

I think we all need to do that.  I think our minds, being a part of our Creator, are powerful enough to create unending realities for ourselves.  Just some realities are more sustainable than others.  Does that make sense?

Found this regarding terrorists in the Afterlife:  It’s not much, but it does intrigue.  There’s a book I’ve been meaning to read about that:


About Ampbreia

I'm an ex-Pentacostal, ex-Muslim, ecclectic Agnostic with slightly Wiccan leanings. I am not affiliated with any organized religion or political platform, but I do believe in magic and all things wise and wonderful. I work as an admin in a calibration lab. I've published 2 books so far this year: Lost in Foreign Passions: Love and betrayal, passion and loss in the heart of an alien land (a memoir of my time as a Muslimah and living in Iran for a year), written under my previous married name, Debra Kamza, and Dream Lover (a paranormal romance, the tale of witch that summons her favorite character out of a Bewitched spin-off and the actor who plays him as well). I'm constantly writing stories and poems, thoughts and dreams, and quite a few opinions - many of which are not popular but oh well. Bite me. I'm interested in art, animals, the paranormal, and people. I love to dance, all sorts, but have been studying belly dance since 2006 and LOVE it! I love anime too and love dressing up and going to conventions. My writing runs the gummut of historical, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and erotica. Beware: I may not be safe reading for work. Just saying....
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2 Responses to Afterlife Thoughts

  1. Yay, you were able to get back on! 🙂

    I believe there is an afterlife and I think some people can go to a hell-like place, but it’s not forever.

    I believe that when people die they go through a life review and they feel everything they did, how they treated people and animals, how those people/animals felt.

    I think you and I have similar beliefs. I was raised Catholic though and although I still like some things from the Catholic church (like Saints and praying to them), I don’t consider myself a Catholic. I haven’t been to church in years and I just don’t consider myself religious. I just believe in the Great Spirit and I don’t need to go to church to be close to him/her.


  2. starmanjones says:

    in all the spiritual readings of what I’d consider churchly and others not so much, I’ve kinda come to this notion that most religion is a wooden nickle we’re supposed to accept with gratitude… or to put it bluntly, a cheat. now of course I allign myself with being christian and on the surface this line of thought might seem to conflict. I don’t think so. I judge a church on entry by seeing if I’ll so much as get a hello. I got a choc bar at one but no real hello despite the place having quite an engaging spirit to it. I’ve shown to a place welcoming the lesser fortunate and walked in and out like a ghost. either place shows something disappointing in that you can feel the attitude of the places… oh sure we bought the building as it made sense to and feed the homeless but here I am there and not so much as a hello? or we’ve a growing ministry and it’s fun I’m at the main church so it’s live yet the other satelites get some big screen action like that of some farce on “the mosquito coast” of god by tv? fellowship! here’s a choc bar and pray you don’t need assistance because this place is about the dough can’t I hear the cash drawer for he coffees up front? yet the vibrancy of people of my ilk trying to make it…oh so tempting to see community I must deny not by want either but by a simple thing of not being welcomed in.

    I wonder if I’d have fared worse for having been accepted. I know the church and two different congregational experiences left me where I am now to be devout of that faith and thus d.e.a.d. and gone because the very medication I take is of the sacrifice for one’s beliefs…that places? no blood, my meds are blood based. again the wooden nickle. I dreamt even of what it was to see dad and stubborn boy in that ever so common dance of clout, you will go to church and believe, wow thanks dad for showing me the love of dieties if that’s religion no thanks. and remember it’s about justice there just isn’t any. Ibelieve so therefor I should find acceptance within that of others so inclined and oh I’d be counted of them but denied by them. but again what if? what a hot mess that’d leave me in.called by the devils into oiled traps not so easily avoided as one must acknowledge pride of placement in the choice to stay or go.

    but more interesting than this is the sensory limitation of our corporial experience. con sequence. it seems to matter just as is love or hate but how ridiculous it seems outside linearity. it matters only what I chose and do. love at one instant might turn over time to be that of hate well executed. what is hate but love’s passion soured within a connection still iron? it’s no surprise that I chose well to appear different in my actions from that of my motivations this life as I’d not want to be who I saw by actions at 14. I can not say I feel any more differently motivated now than then just 25 into that choice I am without blemish seemingly…I was blemish then. but lets take that ticket to real streat, anyone can see I am not showing anything but choices and I still am judged for who I present myself to be and get no further as once I was so I’ll always be. fate.

    I hear the voice me of within me each word typed. I’ve squandered thousands of folks money at the shrinks’s as this used to be a conversation overheard. now it just appears to be me. what thought point is it to be talking to one’s self…craziness? perhaps. but why not then be well aware of what other’s describe as spirits? can force be out there? or is it just our echos escaping to call forth into the world what we’ve given power to? cuckoo or the secret.””” what journey’s are there out there in imagination land for me and floating about for you! case in point. I have heard of a town called craig colorado where there is work and mountain living but now it’s more of a city than a town and still a fine place to mention from afar….and I get there and I feel a death to the place it is entirely devoid of calling me. it is sodom to me. for you see I didn’t know at 10 that alcoholism and meth use and that disfunction was what also ooozed from there pervasively. I feel it keenly now. while on the surface this should be my town, meth is fantastic to make the above flow from me in less words and more intelligence even if my poor sanity might slip like cheese from my cracker. I love beer. the pat on the back in life everyone should have of feeling on top of the world til morning 😀 so you see why shouldn’t I cheat the world to wrench from it a prize yet all along being anything but one. craig should be my town but there is no love or connection. it’s just empty all over. no soul. and I’m not that one more echo trying to be the soul. perhaps you’ve felt that journeying.

    I’ve yet to see any religion be anything other than good mannersr us so another profits. I see religion only a wooden nickle in replacement for salvation. I have never quite put the finger on it so to speak but I guess it comes down to lack of acknowledging who drives the worship to even say I may not know this god fellow but at least I’ve this notion of sacred ideals I don’t boast of but elevate. so far all I do see is systems of self interest and me outside so so many. there is this notion that i can toss a coin at it and feel good as I said I cared….but the work is for another. I’ll remember I’ve said this as I walk past the open hands for hey many spare a dime? all today.


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